The Heartless Bastards aren’t so heartless

What do we do in our anxious moments trying to find ourselves? Our moments of doubt? How do we get re-centered?

I grew up in Indiana, a far cry from the place I call home now: Utah. Looking back, I think I knew from an early age that Indiana wasn’t where I wanted to be. I had no idea the mountain west would become my home, I just knew that I needed to explore. I placed so much importance on manmade borders that all I could think of was leaving my birth state as soon as I graduated college. To make a long story short, I ended up in Utah after living out of my truck for six months traveling to different mountainous states.

I’m happy here. I love the odd Utah culture, the closeness to the outdoors, and my wonderful community. However, I also recognize in myself a feeling of homelessness. I’m not sure what it feels like to have a calling to a specific home. Maybe most of us that move around never do. We can go back to our families, but where they live isn’t our home. I can own a house, but it doesn’t feel like a home.

With this backdrop, once the negative feelings of anxiety crop up it is all too easy for them to join up with this ‘lack of home’ problem. Then I have one hell of an anxiety problem on my hands.

Everyone has their own ways of coping with these moments. I’m not pretending that my way will somehow be better than yours. Regardless, I’m going to tell you what I do for the sake of telling you what I do.

Both songs featured below are absolutely wonderful for me in these times. I can listen to them on repeat, sing along, maybe even let a few tears fall, and I’ll eventually feel like myself again.

It’s a good time for all of us to appreciate art. Art is too often pushed into the corner. Let’s remember that it is usually art that takes us away from bad thoughts and bad feelings and let’s us breathe again.

Lyric excerpts from Hold Your Head High:

“I've made a lot of choices
Most have not been wise
But I have some really good friends
I've been fortunate to find

They get through the lonely days
When I want to stay inside myself
They get me out of my shell
Out into the world

….

And I, then I woke up from the middle of the strangest dream
And everyone was there that I ever knew and they all began to sing
Hold you head high, just as high as you can
Things will work out soon, things will come round again
You see I've got this fascination with all the wrong ways to go
I get lost even in the places that I know”

Lyric excerpts from Marathon:

Staring out at the city skylights
A marathon is going down the street
And we're all racing for our own reasons
And sometimes in the middle we all meet

On this long road home
On this long race home

..…

And went out want to belong

To something more than
More than our soul
Cause you can't always
Do it alone
Sometimes you just need a
Need a little help

On this long road home
On this long road home